Congress: "Trash Dust" and Do Something Useful

I Hate Dusting!

Perhaps “hate” is not the best word.  How about “abhor,” “despise,” or just “dusting, like, really, really sucks.”

Sarah Palin is a Post Turtle

I recently rec'd this from a friend:

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up aconversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President.

The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. "You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, she doesn't know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with."

Digital Mammograms at Newport Hospital

I went for my annual mammogram Sat. & appreciated the early call that there had been a number of cancellations & could come earlier.

The actual test takes hardly any time now- ?1o min. at most. The operator uses buttons to manuveur the equipment & received an immediate monitor pic.

Breast cancer is curable if detected early. Every woman needs one! An ounce of prevention & all that. There is now a center in Portsmouth which can do the same. The one in Newport is open 6 days/week. As a rule of thumb, women over 40 need one every year. These tests are said to reduce mortality by 30%. These digital pics along with new software are state-of-the-art.

Okay- a joke:

The Knob

A woman visited her plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift.
Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob."Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the womanremained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything hasbeen working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."
The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."She said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee."

Flying Fickle Finger of Fate Award

This is only the second time I've awarded the "Rigid Digit." I realize that I'm dating myself to those who recall this "Rowan & Martin Laugh-In" dubious achievement award, but what-the-heck. The first award went to Rep. Trillo.

And it goes to (drum roll....) that bad boy himself- NEA's

Pat Crowley.

It recently came to my attention (from himself) that Pat has been the central topic of at least 47 recent postings on Anchor Rising & Ocean State Republican (and not in a good way). Quite an accomplishment. Actually, I think it's likely higher. And I haven't been mentioned even once. Oh, darn!