Happy Birthday to Me!

I don't usually blather on about birthdays, but here I am- 61! When you have a parent who dies fairly young (dad- age 53), you learn about human frailty early. I never believed that I'd make it this far, but, I did!

What have I learned in 60 years? Not a whole lot but it's time to ruminate a bit:

1. Life is not fair. Celebrate when it is. Strive for it.

2. Life is short. Have fun- laugh long,loud, & often. If it's not fun- make it so. If you can't- pretend it is. If people don't like you doing any of the former, try to avoid them.

3. Be around kids. Play. Speak to them. Listen to their jokes. Consider it a rare honor.

4. Appreciate your surroundings & try to make them beautiful.

5. Money is important. It doesn't guarantee happiness, but it sure helps.

6. Keep educating yourself. Read.

7. Exercise. You'll probably live longer than you think.

8. Do a favor for someone whenever you can. Be generous. Just because.

9. Honor older citizens. Spend some time with them.

10. Try something new whenever the opportunity presents itself.

11. Enjoy your memories, but keep it short, stupid (KISS).

12. Encourage your passions, open up your mind, turn up your nose at no one, change your mind about something, and remember to PLAY!

11. Have a pet.

12. Family is important. So are friends. Keep the good ones & make new ones.

13. Beaches, ocean access, forests, parks, etc. are wonderful places.

14. Age gracefully? Screw that one.

Why I Love Being Retired

People used to ask me all the time how I liked it. They don't any longer. Here is why:

Question: How many days in a week? Answer:6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?Answer: NUTS!

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The never ending Coffee Break (although, as a teacher, I never had one). Recess (and I don't mean recess duty!).

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as aretiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week? Answer: Monday to Friday - Nothing. Depends. Whatever I feel like doing. Sometimes I need to go to the store or exercise. Walk on the beach & look for sea glass. Read. Watch old movies. Write on my blog or read others. Saturday & Sunday I rest. I'm exahusted.

Ocean Missing in Middletown!

Tragedy strikes! It must be so, according to a recent "Daily News" article below the fold.

Neighbors on Indian Ave. (scene of the missing watery attraction) quickly responded: "Shocking," "Payback"," "I was surprised," "...it's all gone," "I didn't realize it was permanent," "...this type of thing could happen anywhere."

The Building Inspector's office could not be reached for comment by this reporter. They are on record, however, in stating that there are sections of the fence OVER six feet & they have notified the owner of this violation. The usual fine is confiscation of the oldest male child, a payment not to exceed a million dollars, and/or execution. No comment on whether or not the inspector actually VIEWED the ocean, though. Rumors are abounding of owner O'Neill's recent power saw purchase.

Our police deparment is also on the job regarding this alleged theft. They reported no visits at this location for previous problems. Hopefully now, the bunko squad is working on this. This would be a different division from the group investigating if Rep. Bruce "You mean I actually have to LIVE in my district" Long broke the law in obtaining his ex-wife's insurance records. Connection here? Is it possible that the good Rep. misses his home here & absconded with a bit of Middletown to use in Westerley? Gives you pause, doesn't it?

Exactly what is owner developer Brian O'Neill doing here? Remember, he comes from PENNSYLVANIA (that's not here). Has he given OUR ocean to the outlawed IRA? He is IRISH after all, bought the property only a few years ago and LIVES in Newport (once again, that's not here). Has he shipped it out to Portsmouth to his Carnegic development? Is he planning on using it for his proposed marina? Illegal subdivisions? a reality t.v. show? home of all the missing honeybees? Where is it? Will we get it back? Why doesn't he respond? What is his nefarious plan?

Why couldn't he have just used gigantic shrubs like everyone else? Or many HUGE houses? He could have tastefully painted his fence (that means WHITE) & added an iron gate or built it out of stone. Is the ocean actually GONE or is this a clever prank because his neighbors sued him a few years ago? Is this a promo for a new illusionists' colony relocating there? Clever, but NOT FUNNY.

Why didn't this story appear above the fold?

Thank God that Councilwoman "Mother Theresa" Santos, is on the job. Taking valuable time off from her many Council committee/board rep appointments - is it 10 yet - over the weekend for this extensive 5 mile journey she remarked, "[Oh, the humanity!]...No one will be able to enjoy this beautiful estate [Hopelands]. BTW, Councilman Ed, "They really don't like him," Silveira was given only ONE assignment. Could he have something to do with our missing waterfront? Is this how he gets even with Mother Theresa, et al? Ex-councilman Charlie Vallaincourt who lives only a short distance from the crime scene has remained curiously silent with a muttered, "I take the Fifth." Of course, he would not be the first councillor to plead his rights. And let's not forget Councilor Lou "They really don't like him - a little less" DiPalma who WAS NOT born here and is hair-challenged! Do you really trust "engineers" without trains? Could this have to do with "The War of the Endorsed vs. The Unendorsed?" So much for political rapprochement.

Next-door neighbor, Mr. Sherman (owner of the "Daily News"), is reported to have been so shocked that he immediately charged veteran, muck-racker reporter, Matt Sheley, with getting the truth out, sparing no time or expense!

As a veteran blogger always on the beat, I did explore the reported heist using my trusty light-weight truck. It's a high-riding vehicle, so I feel confident in assuring those aggravated residents that I'm pretty sure that I SAW the ocean still there & grape vines. The numerous fence openings helped. I do believe, though, that this provides a legal basis for challenging assessments on their multi-million dollar estates, whether owned personally or by their trusts.

Hopefully, councilman "Inspector" Sylvia is on the case. Those so-called "grape vines" may be a euphenistic illusion for mary jane, pot, grass, weed, reefer...

I'm not joking when I assure you that this whole thing is enough to curl my hair! (check blog photo). Where does our Council stand on this? What about our legislators? I do believe that the Day of Reckoning is upon us. It's time to s_ _ _ or get off the pot! Tippecanoe & Tyler too! Remember the Maine!

P.S. Thanks to Chicken Little for her many suggestions regarding this article.