Why I Love Being Retired

People used to ask me all the time how I liked it. They don't any longer. Here is why:

Question: How many days in a week? Answer:6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?Answer: NUTS!

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The never ending Coffee Break (although, as a teacher, I never had one). Recess (and I don't mean recess duty!).

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as aretiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week? Answer: Monday to Friday - Nothing. Depends. Whatever I feel like doing. Sometimes I need to go to the store or exercise. Walk on the beach & look for sea glass. Read. Watch old movies. Write on my blog or read others. Saturday & Sunday I rest. I'm exahusted.