Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Name that Bridge!

The Guv vetoed the Lege's bill to name the Sakonnet River Bridge the Anne Hutchison Sakonnet Bridge. As a consequences thereof, he is forming a blue ribbon panel to come up with a name. Of all the things that we could have a panel do, this is it.

So I'm forming my own panel of -ME. Suggest names, please (keep it clean). Perhaps we could have a lottery & raise some sorely needed bucks. Winner names the bridge. Eileen's Bridge. Kind of has a ring to it, don't you think?

We could sell naming rights to the highest bidder- the Dunkin Donuts Bridge? It could be named after a state symbol- the Coffee Milk Bridge. Perhaps after a favorite son (since a favorite daughter doesn't work). The George M. Cohan Bridge? Charlie Hall? The Don Bousquet Bridge? There must be an Italian explorer that we could name it after or, even better, a Portuguese one? How about St. Brendan or Leif Ericson? How about the Brooklyn Bridge? We could trick all those New Yorkers into coming here. Think of how much people would pay for a house with a fantastic view of the Brooklyn Bridge.

Maybe we could name it the Narragansett Bridge? No, not after the beer (unless they were willing to pay for it). After all we did cheat those N.Y. Indians into selling us Manhattan. Maybe this our Indian tribe's due since a casino is a no-no.

Perhaps we could even name it twice- depending on which direction you're going: the "coming" bridge and the "going" bridge. We could have some fun & misname it- the "Tiverton" bridge takes you to Portsmouth & vice versa. Maybe we could change the name daily with a flashing sign.

So what about Middletown? Where's our bridge naming rights? Newport has one. We're the shopping center, the Navy base, & all the techie jobs. Without us who'd honestly need this bridge? I like the sound of the "John Clarke" Bridge. Or again, if I may be so bold, Eileen's Bridge.

Who is going to be on this panel? Really, what are the qualifications for a bridge naming committee? Good spellers? History buffs? Sports fans or those who read "The Enquirer?" Bridge crossers? Friend of the Guv? Maybe while they're discussing all this naming, they could solve Middletown's "fishgate"? Now THAT would be useful.

So toss in your suggestions, please. I'll be the decider- because I can!
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