Thursday, May 28, 2009

New Things to Tax

As the lege ponder raising the tax on beer, while already raising the tax on ciggies, I've been pondering on how else the State could raise funds. Of course, we could always pass non-regressive taxes, like based on actual income, but I don't want to go into the field of... beyond the beyond.

Lawn care. Everyone does it. Tax it. It applies only to owners/renters living in their actual residencies. Mowers & trimmers (electric only) would have readers on them like gas/electric. Hopefully, people would do less, save all our ears, slow down air pollution, blah, blah. Ah, peace & quiet.

Farting & burping. Also not good for the environment. I say fine 'em when in public places. Make it hefty. Hey, we could make a lot of money here. Heck, hang around those places that sell the beer!

We seem to be overly concerned with sex & who's having it. So... let's tax it. B&B's, hotels, could collect the tax for us. Just assume everyone is having it, point out the nearest drugstore, & presto! If they refuse, call it an abstinence tax. Those people definitely cost us $. They have federally fundated programs in the hundred millions, don't buy Viagra, & put that darn sex-toy shop out of business in Portsmouth. I say, tax the abstainers even more! Forget prostitution laws, go for the gold!

Wa-a-ay too much time on my hands.
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