Friday, May 05, 2006

Thank you, Representative Kennedy

The last time I saw Rep. Kennedy I went up & thanked him. I thanked him as a mother & teacher. I thanked him as a fellow sufferer & a particpant in life. Throughout my career & life I've met many individuals who suffered - addictions, learning disabilities, depression, alcohol, you name it. And many times they were blamed for it - not always overtly, but it was there. You couldn't physically see it, so it didn't really exist. Maybe just in your mind. So get over it.

It was often hard, almost impossible to encourage these people to go on fighting; that there was hope, not hopelessness awaiting them. Many of them denied that there even was a problem. It was none of your business, after all. It wasn't something that they wanted anyone to know about and even worse to get "labeled" with. No one wants to be "different" in a socially unacceptable way.

Some made it, some are still fighting, & some didn't make it through. I know that Patrick has been there - addiction, mental illness. And in the past few years he hasn't been quiet about it. He gives these problems a human face - a face that we recognize. He speaks out about ongoing treatments, sucesses and failures. He speaks up where others have suffered silently for years. And when he speaks, he takes away some of the stigma, some of the self-punishment and doubts. Not just for fellow sufferers, but for their families. Hey, if a Kennedy has this & can achieve, maybe there's some hope for the rest of us. If he takes meds & undergoes therapy, & sometimes has setbacks, maybe that's okay for me, too.

There was a short time that I, too, suffered from depression as I went through an early menopause. It was awful. Tears were always on the ready. Nothing gave me joy. It was hard wearing that mask all the time. When work was done, what I wanted to do was go into my bedroom, close the door & shade, and roll up into a ball in a corner of my room. I kept it to myself. It creeps up on you, that depression and asserts itself as normalcy. While complaining one day about suffering through "sweats," an older woman mused that perhaps it was menopause. But I was only 43. I thought about it & made a Dr.'s appointment. He gave me meds & not quickly thereafter, but after a few months, I felt better. The meds then started triggering migraines and so I had to stop. But the depression was gone. Slowly, quietly, it had left. Smiles were there again. On rare ocassion I'd mention it to someone. And that's when you find out that you're not alone.

Depression is awful. And you don't know that you have it or are in it. Let alone that you can get rid of it. I was lucky. It's not always that easy. And self-medication & addictions often go along with mental illness. Liquor is a lot more available & cheaper than counselling & meds (and a lot more acceptable). And so I thanked Patrick Kennedy. It's not easy admitting to a private health-concern that can set you up for personal criticism. Admitting mental illness & addiction isn't easy if you're a Kennedy or a Spillane. No, it's not easy, it's couragous. Patrick Kennedy is an example of what mental illness & constant hard-work, treatment, failure and success are all about. It's success that makes you what you are in the eyes of the world. But it's the failures that lead you to the success that really count. So I thank you, Patrick Kennedy.

I know more than I ever thought that I would need to know about mental health from my own small experience, but far more from personal experiences with others. I wish you well in your recovery and thank you for being public and honest about a very personal topic. I know that it's been a difficult year for you dealing with a senior parent. Been there, done that. Get healthy, and come back to us to continue the good fight! And thanks.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great post, Eileen. There is much denial still and Kennedy's ability to admit a problem is a step that most can't take. Many can't take the step because treatment is not an option -- they are uninsured, or they are afraid of using their insurance and being labeled. He has the choice of treatment. I hope we can become a more humane society where everyone has the realistic choice of treatment.

Thomas Kalinowski said...

Thank you for posting this, Eileen. It's easy to make fun of Patrick; he frequently makes it easy to make fun of him. But you've given us insight into the quiet courage the man displays every day of his life. It's a quality his family is noted for, and you've let us see that Patrick himself is no stranger to it.

Anonymous said...

Eileen, people always don't know what it is when they see it, but they know it is something pure and powerful... it's the internal ability to be true to yourself and vulnerable enough to say what needs to be said. That's leadership my friend. Well done.

A hug for you.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the comments! I love feedback!
Life isn't easy even on a good day. If we don't help each other out & learn not to be so darn judgemental, then, indeed, we are all hypocrites.